Excerpts from the conversation in front of me

This should be fun. Some dude is yakking on his cell phone in front of me. Let's transcribe to hide the fact that he's annoying!

"Today I kept looking outside thinking "I could go biking but I don't want to go out there when it's 20 below chill factor." I don't mind if it's cold but not freezing. I gotta find another way to get my aerobics going. I work out hard and I don't rest too much but it's not a P 90 xer or something like that. *pause*...See that's why I bike, cuz when I bike I go pretty much on the trail; there's a beautiful trail by where I live, I get on there, I'm cranking pretty hard - that's all over for the next 3 months, 5 months...so I'd like to really look at that. Yeah, I need a challenge. OK I look forward to seeing ya. Bye bye."

...I better study. This guy actually turned out to sound like a really nice dude.

Dammit. Now I feel like the ass. My attempt at smart aleckness has backfired thanks to my guilty conscience. As it always does.

OK so let me see if I have this right.

Let's say we have a six lane highway. Car A is in the left lane. Car C is in the right lane. Middle lane is empty.

Car A sees a crazy drug dealer on the side of the road, so instead of calling the cops, he drives two lanes over and speeds up towards Car C who just happens to be the closest in proximity to the dealer. He smashes Car C into the drunk. Then Car A takes off and the driver yells "thanks!" as he pulls away.

Car C is dumbfounded, pissed off, and furious.

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5idcYqma-8uXPWUzIwI5oujhh03gg

Even weirder Craigslist Posting

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/dmg/894798763.html

Professional man (55) seeks help. I travel constantly and I am overwhelmed by paperwork that needs filing, minimal office work,my condo needs basic cleaning and I want to discard loads of uncessary items, old files, books, etc. I could use some adult help. I also could use a nice back massage now and then and will reciprocate, when you want one. I am easy going, nice looking, easy to be around and possess a terrific sense of humor and professional. Work with me in getting this place back in order.

The pay is $10 per hour, to start and if we get along well, there may be added benefits, such as travel. I also have a place in Florida. Wouldn't you like to get out if the cold now and then? Imagine being on a nice boat this winter, on warm blue water, when everyone here is freezing their butts off! Prefer a female.

Let's talk about it. If you can send a brief message regarding your availability and a photo, if you have one, tha would be a great start. Full and part time. College student welcomed as well as more experienced.Start this week.


This sounds like a creepily veiled sexual request, I would love to see what comes out of it though. Betting this dude has a french maid fantasy he's dying to act out. hilarious.

Hilarious Craigslist Post

Just found this. If any of you readers are smoking hot girls, please respond. I swear to god it's not me:

need to make ex jealous. Need a extremely gorgeous female to make my ex jealous. Help me get my girl back! The gig would be for one night probobly a couple hours and Im willing to pay good money! Reply with pic and we will discuss this further.


Location: Nw burbs
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: 200
PostingID: 894768648


http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/tlg/894768648.html

I can't believe this stuff is for real! If any of you readers that don't exist yet respond and actually do take this gentleman up on his offer please send me your business card. I might find you useful some day.

Inaugural Post

Hi. I started writing this because I'm really bored. I spent the last weekend watching 30 Rock and I got really hooked - the inspiration for the name if you were wondering. I would probably describe myself as one of those folks who tries to be funny but missed the punch line every time. This is going to start sounding depressing really soon. I really like my job but I'm afraid I might never pass the CPA exam. I decided to write this blog because I started writing other ones that probably had better ideas and better intentions but they never went anywhere, I lost track, and most importantly, my dumb ass forgot to make them anonymous.

So I am starting over. For the last time. If you were able to see into my Blogger/Google profile you would see that I have made nearly 20 attempts at blogs here. Luckily for you, only I can see them. And man do they show that some things change but some things, like my procrastination, never change.

I already like this blog so much that I wanna take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!

So yeah anyways I don't know what direction this is going to go in. Perhaps this will be a nice tool for me to use to explain to anyone out there about my daily life. I don't really have much of an interesting one but I think if I force myself to write about it I may just want to start doing stuff, just to allow myself to have something to write about.

What the hell did I just write up there? Man I really need some sleep. This wasn't funny at all. I can see this probably isn't going to last.